Love Guru, The

Stars: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Ben Kingsley, Verne Troyer, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Val Kilmer, Morgan Freeman (voice)

Director: Marco Schnabel

Mike Myers thinks he's Peter Sellers here, but the result is like a below-par Sellers trapped in a particularly bad Carry On film. Myers smirks relentlessly at his own dirty jokes, but few will join him.

It's not just the relentless succession of below-the-belt gags - Indian mystics are called Tugginmapudha and Satchabigknoba - that make the film so unbearable. It's also that the plot is no good at all. Self-proclaimed Indian guru Myers comes to America to solve the problems of an ice-hockey ace (Malko) - and falls for the team's manager, played with an understandably glazed expression by Jessica Alba.

He greets all comers with 'Mariska Hargitay' - the Law & Order star, to her shame, also appears - and solves everyone's problems including his own. Crushingly, cringingly unfunny: Alba would be well advised to leave this off her CV, while Myers can surely only retreat to another Austin Powers film to save his career.

David Quinlan

USA 2008. UK Distributor: Paramount. Colour by deluxe.
86 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 12A.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 1, Violence/Horror 0, Drugs 0, Swearing 1.

Review date: 01 Aug 2008