Bula Quo!

Stars: Rick Parfitt, Francis Rossi, Jon Lovitz, Craig Fairbrass, Laura Aikman, Matt Kennard, Jean Heard, Andrew Bown, John (Rhino) Edwards, Matthew Letley

Director: Stuart St Paul

After Mick Jagger and his equally lined and elderly looking fellow pensioners made spectacularly good when they finally deigned to play Glastonbury for the first time, you would assume aged rockers would be all the rage right now.

Not if this ludicrous blend of music, crime and, best of all, gorgeous tropical island scenery is anything to go by.

Give Rick Parfitt and Francis Rossi their due, though, for rocking away as if they were still the talk of the town and for agreeing to make this drivel which scripted by Jean Heard and director Stuart St Paul, finds Status Quo rocking all over the world and on the island of Fiji to finish their 50 Year Celebration Tour. There, after coming off stage, they become involved in a dangerous gambling ring and end up fleeing avenging hoods, helped by their manager Craig Fairbrass (more James Bond than Simon Cowell) and his new assistant Laura Aikman

Presumably Parfitt and Rossi knew what they were doing. As for the actors involved in this eminently missable crime-comedy-and-music hokum, I can only assume they reckoned (a) a free trip to Fiji was worth it and (b) nobody they knew was ever likely to see the film.

Which is probably true, except for died-in-the-wool Status Quo completists. As for the improbable appearance of Hollywood character star Jon Lovitz, I assume right now he could be suing his agent.

Alan Frank

UK/Fiji 2013. UK Distributor: Miracle Communications. Colour.
90 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 12A.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 0, Violence/Horror 2, Drugs 0, Swearing 2.

Review date: 07 Jul 2013