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Losers, The (DQ)

5/10

Stars: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldaña, Idris Elba, Jason Patric, Chris Evans, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada

Director: Sylvain White

This is the kind of film that the term 'standard action flick' was surely invented for. A rather portly Morgan (yes, he's the one the girl goes for) leads a team of mercenary soldiers who raid a Bolivia drugs den and rescue 21 child drug mules, only to realise they've been set up when the helicopter carrying the children to safety - there was no room for our heroes - is blown to pieces on the orders of Mr Big (Patric) who plans to annihilate the world with a sonic nuclear dematerializer (shown in action with rather ropy CGI effects).

Enter the girl (Saldaña), who tells the vengeful mercenaries that Mr Big 'travels in an armoured car with 35 security guards armed to the teeth'. No problem there then.

It's the kind of film whose crazy logic demands that our heroes try to fill the girl full of holes when they discover she's the Bolivian druglord's daughter, only for her to come to their rescue with a rocket launcher at the climax. Like, in your dreams. So what if they'd killed her? No film?

Reality is kept firmly at bay and the mercenaries hardly register as individuals, although Patric has a little fun as the prissy Mr Big, casually gunning down an attendant cutie for not keeping a parasol over his head.

David Quinlan

USA 2010. UK Distributor: Optimum (Warner Brothers). Technicolor.
98 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 12A.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 1, Violence/Horror 1, Drugs 1, Swearing 1.

Review date: 24 May 2010