My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

Stars: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Louis Mandylor, Elena Kampouris, Andrea Martin, Joey Fatone, Elias Kasavas, Melia Kotselou, Maria Vacratsis, Lainie Kazen, Stephanie Nur, Gia Caredes, Jayne Eastwood

Director: Nia Vardalos

Part picturesque travelogue, part vanity project and part rose-coloured portrait of Greek village life, this, despite admittedly leaving us yearning for a Mediterranean holiday, all adds up to a big fat Greek zero.

Toula (Vardalos), hubby (Corbett) and their entire tribe, minus Momma (Kazan), in her dotage, and Poppa, dead (the late lamented Michael Constantine), take off for a reunion in Greece with Poppa's three best friends from childhood. Yes, they do.

After a journey thro' rugged roads, they discover their village destination has a population of six, one of whom is an old crone (Vacratsis) who keeps popping up out of nowhere, and another the local mayor, a post-teen transsexual who's a bundle of enthusiasm for the reunion that may never happen, on account of Toula not knowing where the childhood friends live. I know.

The old crone soon turns out to have a son by Toula's father, 'Another brother,' gasps Toula. 'My mind is blown.' 'Yup,' agrees a gurning Corbett. 'My mind is blowing in the wind too.' So this, as you'll gather, is not a movie for lovers of meaningful dialogue, nor of much else, as so little happens. Think Mamma Mia! without the songs and you're not all that far off.

Vardalos wears her permanent (winning) smile, Corbett looks bemused, but determined to see it through, the juveniles inevitably fall for each other, and there is indeed a wedding at the finale which, like the rest of film, is full of synthetic, meringue-sweet charm.

Twenty-five stuntpeople are credited at the end of this no-action film. What the heck did they all do?

David Quinlan

USA/Greece 2023. UK Distributor: Universal (Focus). Colour by Company 3.
94 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 12A.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 1, Violence/Horror 0, Drugs 0, Swearing 0.

Review date: 08 Sep 2023