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Love Witch, The


Stars: Samantha Robinson, Gian Keys, Laura Waddell, Jared Sanford, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Robert Seeley

Director: Anna Biller

This is the kind of film that's so jaw-droppingly bad you just can't believe how awful it is. Supposedly a spoof of early sexploitation films, it has beautiful colour photography (its only merit) and a leading lady whose idea of acting is to to look dreamily at the camera and speak her lines (badly). Heard of any of the cast? No? And I doubt you will again.

The witch in question, Elaine (Robinson), is a member of a supremely dotty coven which teaches 'spiritualism, pagan arts and crafts, ancient mysticism, herbs and spices and sexual magic'. But the potions she mixes together can be lethal - as demonstrated with her dispatch of the husband who's just divorced her. And they're too strong for a new boyfriend (Parise), whom she buries in the garden.

A newcomer to the neighbourhood, she's befriended by Trish (Waddell) and repays her by seducing her husband (Seeley) while she's away on business. He commits suicide and Elaine moves in on Griff (Keys), the detective in charge of the case.

Not only can Robinson not act, but she has little sexual appeal, meaning that the film hardly works on any level.

David Quinlan

USA 2015. UK Distributor: Icon. Colour (unspecified).
118 minutes. Not widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 2, Violence/Horror 1, Drugs 0, Swearing 1.

Review date: 07 Mar 2017