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Things to Do Before You're 30


Stars: Dougray Scott, Emilia Fox, Danny Nussbaum, Billie Piper, Shaun Parkes, Bruce Mackinnon

Director: Simon Shore

As members of the Athletico Greenwich park football team near or pass 30, several of them having played together since boyhood, they make lists of things to do after three decades - and encounter various crises in their lives.

Cass (Scott), preparing for fatherhood with Kate (Fox), goes off the rails with volleyball player Tina (Stacy Hart). Adam (Parkes) still hasn't told his mates he's gay. Gangly Colin (Mackinnon) is desperate for a threesome with Vicky (Piper) and Sheera (Keira Malik).

Tubby Billy (Roger Morlidge), the goalie, is facing having to give it all up, and Johnny (Nussbaum) is looking after his dying father, who started the club.

They all think their 500th game might be an appropriate swansong. But 'landmark' matches are called off due to waterlogged pitches, the opposition having too few players, or a free fight between the teams.

This isn't bad, but you can why it got lost in the shuffle of shelved British films for a couple of years. The acting's just fair, and situations and setting are inclined to cliche. And it's hard to believe the team would regularly play Farmyard FC who kick cans at them and threaten to bash them to kingdom come.

David Quinlan

UK 2004. UK Distributor: Momentum. Colour by Kodak.
101 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 1, Violence/Horror 0, Drugs 1, Swearing 2.

Review date: 24 Jul 2006