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Cockneys Vs Zombies


Stars: Harry Treadaway, Michelle Ryan, Rasmus Hardiker, Georgia King, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman, Richard Briers, Dudley Sutton, Georgina Hale, Ashley Bashy Thomas, Tony Selby

Director: Matthias Hoene

Following somewhat in the lurching footsteps of Shaun of the Dead - only this zombie comedy is funnier. A rip-roaring gorefest only occasionally spoiled by poor editing, its plot revolves around a group of OAPs - played by some distinguished British veterans - whose home is about to be closed down.

But the fogeys' leader (Ford), an ex-gangster, has two grandsons - no two brothers ever looked less alike - orphaned as kids (their parents' last words on leaving the house were 'Come on coppers, you'll never take us alive') who now plan a bank robbery to buy back the old folks' home.

Meanwhile, the East End of London is reeling under a plague of slow-moving zombies, after a pit, ordered by Charles I in the 17th century to be blocked up, is opened by some doomed workmen. Elsewhere, losing two of their gang after the successful robbery, the boys and sister Katie (forcefully played by Ryan) discover an arsenal of guns and grenades eagerly seized on by the trapped pensioners as they fight their way towards freedom.

It's fast and furious and full of rasping cockney wit - 'How can we escape?' bellows Ford. 'Eric's a raspberry ripple and 'Amish is on his third hip replacement!' 'Amish turns out to be the wonderful Briers, and his flight from the zombies, who are marginally faster than his zimmer frame, should be one of the film's highlights, had the editing not decided to cut it short. Still good fun, though, with guffaws galore. And Honor Blackman, at 87, notches up a double-first: she gets to bark out the f-word and, fiercely gritting her teeth, fire a machine gun. What a woman!

David Quinlan

UK 2012. UK Distributor: StudioCanal. Colour (unspecified).
89 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 0, Violence/Horror 2, Drugs 0, Swearing 2.

Review date: 25 Aug 2012