Storage 24

Stars: Noel Clarke, Colin O'Donoghue, Antonia Campbell-Hughes, Laura Haddock, Jamie Thomas King, Ned Dennehy, Geoff Bell, Alex Price, Ruth Gemmell, Davie Fairbanks, Amy Pemberton, Robert Freeman

Director: Johannes Roberts

Noel Clark is a cinema polymath variously actor, writer and a director.

Also, on the evidence of this truly dreadful shocker, seriously immodest since he is featured in the credits as star, a producer and also credited with original idea and screenplay which shows considerable bravery since the film itself, which has three other credited co-writers (I name the guilty - director Johannes Roberts, Davie Fairbanks and Marc Small) is one to be missed if possible or, if seen, to be erased from the memory as quickly as possible.

The plot, for what its worth, finds Clarke and Campbell-Hughes whose five-year relationship has just collapsed, much to his misery, along with his best friends ODonoghue and Haddock, confined in the eponymous storage unit and unable to get out after plane crash in central London. After which, a monster (Robert Freeman is credited with playing it) starts picking them off, one by one

The all too predictable luckless-people-trapped-unable-to-escape-and-hunted-by-a-vicious-predator plot is well worn by now. Remember IT! The Terror From Beyond Space? Or Alien, to name but two? Storage 24 brings little new or interesting to the storyline, drenches it with too much music and too little adequate acting and stirs in most genre clichés.

Some films review themselves here two lines of dialogue in particular sum up this drivelling shocker.

I certainly wouldnt argue with This is f ridiculous! and I couldnt agree more with Clarke when he wailed I just want to go home!.

Me too!

Alan Frank

UK 2012. UK Distributor: Universal. Colour.
87 minutes. Not widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 0, Violence/Horror 3, Drugs 0, Swearing 2.

Review date: 25 Jun 2012