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How To Stop Being A Loser


Stars: Simon Phillips, Craig Conway, Stephanie Leonidas, Gemma Atkinson, Billy Murray, Richard E Grant, Colin Salmon, Keeley Hazell, Martin Kemp, Neil Maskell

Director: Dominic Burns

It’s hard not to envy Richard E Grant who makes his appearance early on in this witless British ‘comedy’ centred (and not to his advantage) on Phillips who portrays a nerd and loser who foolishly allows smooth seducer Casanova Conway to teach him the art of picking up women and getting them into bed. Phillips would have been off learning the art of picking a good script.

But back to Grant. He leaps to his death on a railway line during the first few minutes and, as the film leadenly progresses, it’s hard not to envy him. Had a railway line have run through the preview theatre my guess it that it would have soon been cluttered with lemming-like reviewers seeking solace and a quick way out.

For my money (and, yes, I’d probably have paid to miss it) this misfire merely proves it’s not as hard as is generally accepted to get a movie off the ground and, what is more, involve good actors like Grant, Atkinson and Salmon in its maudlin misfiring. Wait for it to turn up on its natural habitat, television, where the channel change button will prove to be invaluable.

Alan Frank

UK 2011. UK Distributor: Crabtree Films. Colour.
89 minutes. Not widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 2, Violence/Horror 0, Drugs 0, Swearing 2.

Review date: 18 Nov 2011