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Stars: Michael Angelis, Katrine de Candole, Brendan Mackey, Craig Charles, Lee Boardman, Nicola Scott, Kate Robbins

Director: Nicola Scott

Very odd, hard-cursing fantasy comedy-drama set in Liverpool. It goes like this: balding art teacher Tatty (Angelis) falls madly in love with one of his students, Amy (de Candole), but sees her run over and killed. Completely distraught, he builds a statue of her (somewhat more generously bosomed than the original) in the ruins of a derelict church.

Thirteen years later, Tatty has a full head of hair, but otherwise his life has gone down the toilet. A drunken tramp still haunting the church grounds, he's stunned one New Year's Eve to see the fallout from a firework display bring the statue to life.

A kiss from Amy for the first person she sees will bring her eternal life, but kill the kissed (how Tatty knows this is a secret shared only by writer-director Scott), but, although Tatty is willing to sacrifice himself, the first person she sees is feckless bouncer Cal (Mackey). Tatty encourages him to kiss her, but it doesn't quite work out the way he imagines.

Superbly shot and lit by Rory Taylor, the film is otherwise very eccentric and holds some sequences far too long, extending the runtime to a good 10 minutes more than necessary. Although often irritating, however, the film never quite loses its own brand of fascination, even if Tatty's much-repeated cry of 'Make it stop!' near the end might be a sentiment shared by the less patient among his audience.

David Quinlan

UK 2005. UK Distributor: Ace Films. Colour by Kodak.
98 minutes. Not widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 0, Violence/Horror 0, Drugs 0, Swearing 2.

Review date: 18 Nov 2006